The best thing. The very best thing is when the weekend comes, if Jeff gives in to the tiredness that seems to be his constant companion these days, he sometimes decides to lay down the defenses, and nap with Kaiya.
And if I time it right, maybe cleaning up some lunch dishes first, I climb the stairs just to find them snug as can be, huddled in together under the softness of the blankets, fast asleep. Their bodies have already warmed the sheets, and I quietly slip in, careful not to disturb, and snuggle in close to enjoy the comfort, the quiet, the warmth.
We heal together, we three. As we sleep, our hearts are healed of the insecurities we have struggled with and the pains we have faced in the big world out there. All that matters is that we are together, we are safe. And that makes mamma bear truly happy.
A couple of weekends ago, Jeff was unable to put his work down, but I was suffering from a cold, so I gladly curled up with my Kaiya. I figure that even if I napped with her every day until she's fifteen (unlikely?), it will not be enough. There is something about her love and snuggles and hugs and kisses that fill me to overflowing.
We're holding hands here. This is heaven on earth.